When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. ~Author Unknown
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again. ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson
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